On home, Goan identity and a memorable trip
Is home a place? Or is it a person?
Is it found in a particular smell? Or is it in a particular tune?
Or, does it lie somewhere in the moment you over-hear a familiar phrase uttered between two strangers?
The answer may very well be : all of the above. In my case, it just so happened that home existed where it always was, unchanged and almost unmoved, except I was gone.
For me, Bahrain is home. Its where I was born and brought up, having spent the most impressionable first 18 years of my life over there. A tiny little island nation in the heart of the Arabian Gulf, Bahrain ranks as the 23rd smallest country in the world, yet is so rich in heritage and culture, all of which deeply influenced me.
As a second generation Goan from the Gulf, you inhabit two (and many more) worlds. On one side, spending the last few years in the Indian subcontinent helped me connect with my Goan roots. But being cut-off from what I consider ‘home’ for so long, made me feel disconnected from a major part of my identity and heritage.
Can you imagine not returning home for 7 long years? It was indeed heart-aching. And after a life changing start to the year 2022 with the passing of my father, who made Bahrain his home, I had many reasons to return, adamant to not let the number increase.
There was also the big news my sister dropped on me, that she was planning to shift out of the apartment we used to stay in for the past several decades. It was the place where we all grew up in, with countless memories attached to it. While apart, I always took comfort in the fact that home was still intact. But now, home as I knew it, was about to slip away, and not having said goodbye spurred me to go back and bid my farewells.
I guess the long spell away simply heightened each and every experience for me. So the moment I first stepped onto Bahraini soil, after 7 long years, is forever etched in my memory.
As the new airport’s doors swung apart and I stepped across the threshold, a cloud of hot air engulfed me.
03rd November 2022
It hit me like a slap in the face… I felt like I could almost touch the air, and ‘taste’ the saltiness.
In the distance I could see date palms swaying. And sweltering waves of heat rising above the ground in the distance like a mirage.
That hot, humid saline air of Bahrain…
In that moment, all I could think of doing was closing my eyes, breathing it all in and thinking ‘this is familiar….’
Returning home was truly one of the best experiences of my life. It was a rollercoaster of emotions – the immense nostalgia, reconnecting with my family and friends, some who I thought I would never meet ‘in this lifetime’, reminiscing about my dad and the places he loved, seeing the country in a new light, making new friends, bumping into old mentors, a once-in-a-lifetime meeting with the Pope, attending a memorable Goan wedding and all the festivities that go with it, and of course, getting one last good-night’s sleep in my room as I bade goodbye.
Where is Home for you? Let me know in the comments below
